Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
