I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
