I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
