Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
True strength comes from lack of pants
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
