You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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