so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
