I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
