Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
True strength comes from lack of pants
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
