i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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