I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
