LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Sober January is a disaster.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
