What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
