yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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