what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
