lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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