Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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