Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
sarcasm needs its own font
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
