Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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