You smell like a Billy Joel song
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize