This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
