R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
