stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
