do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I checked into jail on foursquare
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
