I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
