Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
