dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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