the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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