Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
