I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
