I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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