Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
40s are totally the cure
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's rum buckets o'clock
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
