Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
