whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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