I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my sisters under your porch take her home
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
