I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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