it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize