I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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