can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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