Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
