I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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