did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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