I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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