I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
