i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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