Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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