We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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