After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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