Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Randomize
