Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
