Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
