Already got asked if we're dating
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
