fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
