I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
