So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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