I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
