I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We are two peas in an std pod
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
