this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
