Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
