Ambien. No doubt about it.
babies were throwing up all over the place
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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