do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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