420 ftw
In America we eat man semen.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
worst night to have a conscience
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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