And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize