The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
