she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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