I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize